Mr. Hu has been in a romantic relationship for over two months, but I’ve never seen him flaunt his affection on social media. Out of sheer curiosity, I messaged him privately: “Warm-hearted man in love, where is your love story at?” He replied with eight words: “On and off, unpredictable as life and death!” It turns out he’s fallen for a girl who has everything he likes, except that she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings.
Initially, they only chatted on WeChat, exchanging “good mornings” and “good nights,” and occasionally discussing trivial matters. As they continued chatting, their relationship gradually became ambiguous. They started dining together, occasionally watching movies, and even shared a kiss. Perhaps some of her responses gave Mr. Hu positive signals, leading him to announce the end of his single life. However, things didn’t last long. Mr. Hu discovered that the girl still publicly declared her “single” status. Confused, he pressed for answers, but she always evaded the question with a vague response like, “Get some rest, we’ll talk about it next time.” This dragged on for four months.
Exhausted from this guessing game that resembled love, Mr. Hu considered letting go, but he still felt there might be a chance. One night, I left him a message: “You deserve a good night’s sleep. Don’t lose sleep over someone who sleeps soundly. No matter what your love journey is like, remember not to torment yourself. The result is often: touching yourself, disgusting others.”
About a week later, Mr. Hu messaged me, saying he had ended the relationship. He said, “I’ve thought about giving up before, but I was always brought back by her simple ‘let’s try again.’ But after a week of reflection, I realized she just needs company, not me, so we have no future together.”
I understand Mr. Hu’s confusion and reluctance. It’s worse than being in love with someone you’ve chased for a long time but never got together with. The scariest part is when someone enters your life under the guise of love, and as you gradually get used to her presence and accept her around you, she reveals her true feelings: “Maybe we’re not suitable, let’s give it a try.” But with love, it’s either love or not love; there’s no “let’s try.”
When he doesn’t reply to your WeChat for three days, you start to worry: “Did I say something wrong?” “Did I upset him?” “Does he hate me?” In the end, you’ll find out it’s none of those things. He’s just busy with someone more important or doing something more important than chatting with you.
So, never unconditionally give in just because you like someone, and don’t maintain a relationship out of fear of being alone. Learn to end things wisely, rather than ruining your faith in love for the wrong person. There’s no need to torment yourself over this, or to reflect on whether you’re not good enough. The only thing you need to examine is why you didn’t let him leave your life sooner.
Remember: those unclear, half-hearted relationships will eventually need to be ended decisively!
