A person attracts what they think about. Pessimistic people often encounter bad things, while optimistic people tend to live better lives. Does this have a scientific basis? In psychology, there is a concept called the self-fulfilling prophecy, which means that whatever a person believes to be true, their behavior will align with their thoughts, causing events to unfold as they expect.
For example, a girl who lacks a sense of security and fears being abandoned might find that her partners eventually leave her. Isn’t that interesting? Why does this happen? Because she believes everyone is the same. In her relationships, she is constantly on guard, which prevents any trust from developing. Think about it, a relationship without trust cannot build an emotional connection, right? Over time, the two people will inevitably part ways, and the girl has successfully prophesied her own abandonment.
Another example is a mother who believes her child will be successful in the future. As she raises her child, she continually offers praise and affirmation. The child, supported by the mother’s unconditional love and encouragement, is able to reach their full potential. As they grow up, success becomes more attainable, validating the mother’s prophecy.
So, your subconscious will try to prove that what you say is true, seeking that sense of value. In other words, what we say and think is what we see, and what we see is what we believe, and what we believe is what we achieve. Truly being good to yourself means maintaining positive and optimistic thoughts and eliminating negative ones.
So, how do you do this? You need to learn to give yourself positive affirmations. For example, tell yourself every morning and evening, “I am lucky, I am safe, I am loved.” Don’t think this behavior is silly. You know what? Psychologist Pavlov said that suggestion is the most direct form of conditioned reflex. Suggestions from language or the environment can quickly put a person into a certain state. This state can bring about changes in cognition, emotions, and behavior. So, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can immediately shift you from one state to a better one.
Don’t label yourself as a failure, such as saying, “Why can’t I ever do anything right? I lack social skills.” I tell you, everyone has experienced success and failure. Try to attribute failures to external causes and successes to yourself, just like a mother who is biased towards her own child. I tell you, you will become more confident.
Finally, focus on the half-full glass, as in the familiar story where a pessimist says there’s only half a glass of water left, while an optimist says there’s still half a glass of water. For us, it means recognizing what we already have and experiencing happiness from it. If not, we won’t cherish the happiness we already have. A simple way to be good to yourself is to learn to be grateful. Only those who appreciate their blessings can see happiness, and those who see happiness can possess it. So, pay attention to your feelings and treat yourself as the most important person. This is truly loving yourself.
